I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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