Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
