K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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