If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
