he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
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