Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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