Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Randomize
