Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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