My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I just found puke in my bra..
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
