She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
