There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
