didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I intend to get homeless drunk
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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