...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
