how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
