her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
