haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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