what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
