On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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