Buhtt sex?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
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