i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Boobs are out for the taking
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
