I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
