I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Randomize
