Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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