ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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