I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'm at about main and main street
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
