guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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