God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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