If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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