dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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