Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Floor bacon is actually really good
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