I'm going to rape someone's good day.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
