I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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