reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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