Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
