i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
