he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
