I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Randomize
