I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
