end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
