I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
