If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
