90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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