whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
