I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
he had hair everywhere except his balls
and you fell through a lawn chair
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
