first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
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