in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I have post one night stand depression
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