just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
