I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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