I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
