she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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