considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
