You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
