i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
