I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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